The Option In The Middle

November 4, 2023

Will I ever marry again? You know. In the “traditional” sense?

At this age and stage in life, traditional marriage has some sides and angles to it that can be quite problematic. Oh, the ramifications. I don’t even want to go there in my head right now. I’m not ruling it out for some point distant in this unfolding. Things are different though now. I’m not starting out. Starting over? Yes. Starting out? No. It’s not a starting out. It is a finishing up. I’ve started that short final lap. It has no re-do button after I’ve crossed the finish line.

I’m too old to be screwing up. I’m far too young to stop living.

Some crazy things happen to me anymore when I’m out in public. Mind you, when I go out in public, I like to be put together a little bit. At least as put together as I put myself together.

So, coming from town today, after going by the gym then picking up a terrific lunch at the church festival in town, I stopped at the truck-stop on the rez to buy some snuff. Yeah. I picked up that bad habit again back when Shirli was dying. It’s slowly going by the wayside.

The clerk was ringing up my purchase. This woman, a complete stranger, walks up to me and said, “You wore your Halloween T-Shirt today.” She was standing really close too. Then she got even closer, put her arm around me and spoke softly into my hearing, “I was watching you walking outside with your walking stick.” Oh my.

I really don’t recall exactly what I said in reply. I’m sure it had to have been in good taste though.

The brief encounter ended with us both laughing and me telling her, “Baby, you go have yourself a good day.” When I got out of the store, I laughed every step of the way to the van.

I guess I put myself together pretty good when I go out into the public.

So, the question in mind?

There are only a few options to consider at this age and stage of life. At least as I see it.

There’s that traditional marriage thing with its rough ramifications that, at present, shows no points. Then there is the more non-traditional approach that stops short of that trip to the courthouse to pay for a marriage license. A lot of benefits. Especially when done with the right person. And then there is the third option … swear off the companionship of a compatible woman and live like a celibate monk for the rest of my life. This third one is showing no points in its favor too. It seems to me, it certainly seems to me, that all of the points are on the option in the middle.