Well, You're Just Eccentric

September 20, 2023

I really can’t put a date on when the hard struggling seemingly subsided all on its own. But it did subside back there a while ago. I didn’t realize it when it happened. It was a gradual realization.  I’m not struggling. I’m not struggling against Shirli not being here anymore. I’m not struggling against anything anymore. I’m simply here embracing and enjoying life. Sure, there are sore spots. The past will ever be ever-present. But these sore spots are not the gaping wounds that they were not so very long ago. The medicine of time?

Ah. These lower temperatures are so welcome here at my surrounds. Very tolerable days book-cased on both ends by perfect mornings and evenings. I am finally able to once again enjoy spending great lengths of time sitting on the front porch.

It’s funny. What was it? A dozen years ago?

I was having a very serious conversation with my younger sister about something that she and I vehemently disagreed on. Somewhere in that conversation, she told me … to my face … “Well, you’re just eccentric.” And it certainly wasn’t spoken as a compliment.

Eccentric? Dang, what a label to pin on someone.

And, here I am now this far along after the labeling, wondering if she made an honest call. Maybe I am eccentric. Maybe I am a perfect match for the dictionary definition of the word. I’ve always admitted that I’m an odd duck but I’ve never thought of myself as being eccentric.

Maybe I need a T-Shirt that says, “I’m Eccentric!”.

I am beginning to tap into a different rhythm of life these days. One that is not caged and controlled by the clock and the demands and expectations of too many others. It’s a very “in-the-moment” thing that I am living in. It’s a deeply spiritual thing that I’m going through as part of this huge life-transition. It’s a freedom having so many heavy chains cast off after having them wrapped around me. It’s a freedom to finally be able to just be myself with my own personal array of foibles that follow me around.

I did not set out to come this way, dear ones. Not intentionally. Choices had a role to play. Circumstances and decisions always have ramifications that push us in many different directions. And I firmly believe there is a magnificent Greater Hand and Wind at work in and behind the scenes and scenarios generated by the choices we make. So, with me bumbling along like a blind man, God, in his own magnificent and mysterious ways, led and planted me right here. I find great peace and contentment being right here.